Where does one find motivation? From within? from what is yet to come? From love or hope or belief?

These days it is a struggle, something few and far between. The motivation to roll out of bed, to do homework or studying instead of taking that nap. To drink water instead of soda, to get ready and leave the house to meet up with friends. None of these are supposed to be so trying, or supposed to take so much energy. That I must force myself to get up, dressed, and go to class.

I hate not knowing what is going to happen with the rest of my life. Yes, I suppose the surprise is worth while, and that, that is where faith is supposed to come in. I want to know that everything is going to work out. Well i suppose it will, just the way that it is supposed to, as god intended it. If there's a god. Who am I kidding. I believe. I don't necessarily understand it. But i believe that there is a god. I can't put limits or boundaries or qualify the beliefs that I have, but I know I have them. I also hope. Hope for a better world, a better life, better intentions.

"The purpose of music is to free the mind from the tyranny of conscious thought" I love that. Does music entirely free my mind more than engage it? That I'm not sure about. but I love music, and quotes. The emotion, the passion, the fluidity, the universal connection between everyone. That is music.

Haha so a brief note about me: I'm a bit random. The real me is anyways. and my thoughts hoppity bobbity all over the place. Hopefully you can keep up. :)

Is there such a thing as true love? Can there be? I'm talking about the real thing, love at first sight, not getting bored. I do not mean no fights. Because i believe fights are natural and healthy, and that often the ones you fight with are the ones worth fighting for. But is it really there? that tingling in your stomach, complete faith in another person that they love you just as much as you love them. I want it, I hope for it, and nothing less. Are my standards too high? Some may think so. But why settle when it really exists? Why should I settle for less than I deserve, if it's really out there? Why should anyone? I don't want to be unrealistic, but why is asking for the best possible thing for me unrealistic? Why should I not get the best I can have?...